he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
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