People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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