Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
