I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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