Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I smell like Dick and happiness
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
