I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
