ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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