So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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