Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you mean i was at the winter classic?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
