You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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