I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
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I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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