I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
