a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
