The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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