Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
