in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
