I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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