Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
