we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
