So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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