He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize
