there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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