You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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