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It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
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