Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
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Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
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So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.