Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
