Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
