I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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