I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
