You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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