do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
