planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
