After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
