We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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