WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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