i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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