did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize