Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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