For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
The police scanner is talking about you again....
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
