The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
