My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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