Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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