we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
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After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
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I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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