You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
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Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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