Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize