Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
