How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize