You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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