How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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