like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
