You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
My vagina is officially offended.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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