which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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