walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize