Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Screwed.edu
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
